"Alves has left the building..."

So, I have finally taken the plunge and switched over to Wordpress!

This post is actually "so last year" because I have already made a recent post on my Wordpress *shines nails on shirt with a smug look upon his face* blog ---> Yes, Wordpress...I chose the form because, for one...even though I've heard good and bad remarks about the platform...the good that I have heard has been overwhelming! Secondly, the Customization of a Wordpress blog is completely superior to that of Blogger/Blogspot (No offense guys...!)...look, the truth will set you free, but first it's going to piss you off...

Wordpress is incredible, I have already had super reviews on my new blog and it's barely been up a week and to top it all off, I'm still using a generic template for the aesthetics of the blog! I've been lucky enough to have been approached by a web designer who is willing to give me a free "personally customized" theme for my blog ---> Think this will be my right chance opportunity to be picky about a design that I'm not personally working on myself...should be rather interesting!

To cut this short, those of you who are readers of this blog or happen to trip over my *awesomesness* and read this hogwash, please know that I have moved...and am currently very happy where I am! Please come and pay me a visit at my new blog |Swimming Upstream|v2.0| ---> The look and feel is still very generic, but it contains all of my past blogs and categories/tags from this my original blog.

I hope you'll miss me enough to come and check out the "new...digital me" ---> Thanks for reading!

Regards

Dave

Online Treasure hunt...!!! Go bee'otches Go!!!

Firstly, I am like...lank...honoured to be involved with this little shindig, hosted by @SheeBeeGee of NerdMag...those of you who don't know what "NerdMag" is...well then, you are trolling on my blog...be gone with you troll!  Those of you who know what I'm talking about will know that The Nerdies 2010 have been running for the last week or so and the competition is heating up...well as much as a nerdy competition can heat up...imagine how the "nerd world computer based society" reacted when Quake 2 was released...oh yes...!

Details below: Read. It.

In the final stages of The Nerdies 2010, 10 bloggers around South Africa have been selected to be part of a sudden show down to readers across the country to win some pretty cool prizes in the form of an online treasure hunt.

Up for grabs to the FIRST FOUR lucky treasure hunters:

• 1 years subscription to Connect Magazine, courtesy of Hypertext Media
• A Springleap T-shirt of awesomeness
• A Poken from Poken Africa
• and unfortunately or fortunately to the fourth treasure hunter (ONLY)... R150 Kalahari voucher!

So how do you win these things? Each blogger will do a post on their site, with clues as to where they've hidden The Nerdies Idol inside their blog. 9 of these blogs will have FAIL Idols. If you come across a FAIL idol, skip to the next blog until you find the winning idol.

The bloggers are as follows:

http://cathjenkin.wordpress.com

http://meganstow.wordpress.com

http://becauseican.co.za

http://davidanthonyalves.blogspot.com/ <--- That's meee! (Wo0t.)
http://imod.co.za

http://shebee.co.za

http://blog.empyrean.co.za/
http://justinmccall.co.za
http://www.nickhuntdavis.com/
http://blindcripple.co.za

Once you've been to all the blogs and found the winning idol, there will be a unique code on that page. The FIRST FOUR lucky treasure hunters to either email sheenagates@gmail.com the code, or DM it to @SheBeeGee if you're a follower, will win.

Simple huh? Happy hunting!

My Clue before the Pooh:

"Twitter Dee...Twitter Flee...
Daily 140 Character blurps are no easy feats...
So, tell me...who owns your tweets..."

Now GO and be the "Treasure Hunting Electorates" that you are...

Twitter Down ---> my life is over!!!

So, anyone who's anyone with some kind of social media experience and knowledge knows that Twitter went down last night (Time Zone: South Africa: 01:15) and was off line for approximately 20-30mins and...(don't judge me...) it was as though my world had ended...not really, but at the time...my quarter past one in the morning temper went through the roof...I even had a go at the screen...pacing up and down my study questioning what could have lead to this ridiculously timed crash of a seemingly simple social media platform.

I calmed down and wondered to myself how many times Twitter had rolled down the curtain for an interlude since it's inception.  Now whether the down time was for maintenance, debugging or Tim-The-Twitter-ToolMan-Taylor accidentally shut down the wrong server is unknown...what ever it was...it annoyed me to no end.

This morning I awoke to find I was again irritated, but directly at myself for how stupidly I acted in private about something so meaningless and pathetic.  I even had a little chuckle about it...and I never laugh in the morning...EVAR!!! Had I become so dependent on Twitter to hear my "real time" thoughts? And the fact that I couldn't Tweet or let "the tworld" know what I was thinking at that specific moment in time made me boil over ---> don't get me wrong, it's not like I reached the point of taking a sledge hammer to my laptop, but it irritated me to the extent that I felt cheated, hard done-by and helpless ---> pathetic isn't it...?...I thought so too...

Well, this is an apology to you my precious MacBook Pro...please forgive me for the banter, swearing and physical threats I made to you in the wee hours of this morning...my aggression was unfounded and misplaced...

(Don't think I'm going to get an apology from "Shooogah" anytime soon...boooooo!)

Honda can go F*ck themselves...

This post is being written with a head full of mucus, stiff body and on a stinkingly hot day.

To make a f*cking long story very short, I was in a bumper bashing some 6 weeks ago...after a huge annoyance with the panel beaters know as "Grand Panel Beaters" who did less than a shitty job putting my car back together (*FYI* My car was not aesthetically complete until I found out the true source of the electrical problems.).  I took the car thinking everything was (relatively) hunky-doory, there was a front towing cap missing and some lines weren't right, but I needed it ok...the next morning I turn on the car and my ABS light and VSA (Stability Control) light comes on in the car.  So I think to myself, this is definitely an electrical or "Honda Orientated" issue...so like any other dumbass, I take it on down to the dealership/service center where I originally bought the car...to explain what happened in dialogue orientated D!ck terms...

"Oh don't worry sir, simple problem to fix, the battery is probably run down from when the panel beaters fixed your car!" Says greasy person.

"Yah, that makes perfect sense, so what's the plan...?" I ask unbeknown of the bullsh!t that will ensue.

"We'll just reset the computer and everything will be fine" Said the grease monkey.

"Rocking!" I reply. (Dumbass)

So, everything seems fine and the brakes are perfect and off I go.

The next morning I wake up, turn on the car and *BANG* the f*cking same lights come on again - unf*ckingbelievable - so there I go, back to Honda and inquire once again about what the issue is.

What came from the second encounter with The Service King and Troupe at this sorry excuse for a dealership was that my battery must have dead cells in it or some sh!t...that's great...they then proceeded to want to charge me for a battery - R1200.00 - are you f*cked in the head???  I drive off searching frantically for a Battery Center, have another one installed and everything is back to being hunky-f*cking-doory...until the next morning...yes...you guess it...

I wake up, and the f*cking-b*tch-c*nt-lights come back on...you can imagine my utter rage...and I don't feel rage often, apart from right now...but yes, rage...so, back to The Cesspit known as Honda I go to complain yet again...hey...at least I got a new battery...wait...f*ck...that doesn't sound right...

So, I am eventually handed over to "The Service Manager" of the center, he rigs my car up to some ancient computer that tells him...not me...him, that my car's ABS Sensor and Pump have stopped working and could be damaged..."Oh, you think?"....

"That's great" I say, "What do you want me to do about it...?"

The Service King answers with, "It's not yours or my problem sir, it was the panel beaters prerogative to change this part as it was most likely damaged in the accident".

"Awesome" I say wanting to simultaneously jam his head in his own ass and make him take 10 deep breaths...(Burn)

I inevitably cannot handle the bullsh!t any more and ask Honda to deliver the car back to the panel beaters (Double Burn) thinking that I'm going to score here, they'll fix the last aesthetic issues I have with the car and they'll replace the ABS pump...(BURN!!!)

...a week later...yes, a week later I pick up the car...lines look great, the colour matches, new light, car cleaned as new...looked great, start it up...no issues...*Thank Christ* I think to myself (And I'm an Atheist...imagine!)  So happy I could have f*cked it...the car I mean...

Next morning...7:15AM...the lights......................f*cking came on...again...the rage...ensues...

After spending a day on the phone between both Honda and Grand Panel Beaters, it was settled that there was a miss communication between the two of them and the part that was supposed to be changed...the f*cking ABS Pump...was not ordered or changed by the panel beaters as they weren't told by Honda...I scream..."Awesome" at the top of my lungs...

What was the final consensus was that the car would be sent back to Honda and they would change the part and the Panels Beaters will sort out the payment between them and Honda for the part...I think to myself, "This is great, the two of them can fight this out and I'll pick up my *biatch* when the smoke clears!" ------> Double Dumbass!!!

So the elusive ABS Pump is now nowhere in sight...literally, not a single dealership or parts warehouse has one in South Africa (Hard to believe it...well f*cking believe it sister...f*ck!)

I have been informed by The Service King that it will take 15 (working) days for the part to arrive from Japan or where ever the hell these parts come from...so, I submit...I can no longer fight...I am a beaten man and my car, like a castrated kitten, sits hopeless at that Cesspit of a Service Station...

Now the fun begins...it has been a week and I have been conveniently placed on the "courtesy car list" - oh, is that a list for all the f*cking morons you like to fob off because you can't handle them making kak for you all blady day??? Huh huhuhuhuhuh...! (BURN!!!)

Today, I have been down their throats about it and still nothing...even though my car has a motor plan, is still on warranty and is currently stored at the exact dealership I bought it from...

I.  Am.  Now.  Ready.  To.  Kill. -------> (BURN!!!)

Being quiet, maybe too quiet...

So my dear readers, or non-existent readers...

I have been somewhat quiet over the last couple of months, but this in no way implies that I have stopped writing, because I have and have been very diligent about what subjects I have approached. In the last couple of months I have been writing article for my digital magazine and it seems to be getting great reviews.

The articles have ranged from everything eco-orientated to social media and back again, so yes, I am trying my hand at some social commentary when it comes to industries such as fashion, which unfortunately I have no education about expect for my own sense of style which is probably still firmly planted in the late 90's - so sue me!

I was given some brilliant advise by one of my very good friends and social media "go-to-guy" Nic Haralambous who, I can assure you, has a much better resolve and education on the "blogosphere" in South Africa as well as social media trends...he advised me to not update my blog as often as I have been writing but to save my blogs, pre-schedule them as posts and have them bomb off, so-to-speak, randomly throughout the next couple of months. Unfortunately, i have not post anything in between my last post and this cry for a pardon (regardless of the amount, or lack of followers on my blog), owning a blog is a responsibility and I have not kept my side of the deal...and I apologise, through my teeth I must highlight.

Another reason "Nic The Guru" told me to hold back on the posting is that he explained to me that the quicker I switch to my own domain and a Wordpress theme, the more "legitimate" and "blogosphere accepted" my blog will be - what ever the hell that means, in essence, I get it and there is definite merit to it all. Hopefully I will be able to transfer most of the simple little touches I have added to this blog at the moment, such as my "Twitter Feed" and "Twit Pic's" which I thought I was being extremely clever in managing to do - (pats himself on the back!)

To end, I will do my best to keep writing updates posts to relieve the cobwebs that seem to be making themselves at home on my blog.

"Bang-----------and the dirt is gone!"

Who "owns" your Tweets?

As we all know, Twitter has been one of the biggest online media platforms to circumnavigate the internet since the great start-ups such as MySpace and Facebook.

For those of you who are unclear about what Twitter is, you shouldn't be reading blogs, or commenting on them for that matter, so please do me a f--king favour and move on to the next blog...relax, if you are interested in reading on, here's a little blurb about what Twitter is and how it's used:

Twitter is a Social Media Platform for people who just have to "write" about "what you they're doing at a specific moment in time" or what's on their minds and evidently cannot keep it to themselves, I should know, I'm one of them (Example: I'm sitting on the toilet, it's great.).

Twitter allows people to post comments, limited to 140 characters long, as well as link web addresses to your "Tweets" (Twitter's name for your comments) that you might find interesting or enriching of your "Tweet".

You are also able to "Follow" people on Twitter, meaning you have the option to be constantly updated with what a specific person has to say or "Tweet". As you build up your list of people to "Follow" as well as your "Tweet" count, so you will be "Followed" in return. Twitter is all about your "Following", the more you "Tweet", the more "Followers" you'll get!

Just remember a few things...

• You can protect your Tweets, allowing only the people who Follow you to view your Tweets, it's secure, but limits your scope on potential Followers
• You are what you Tweet, be careful what you say if you choose to keep your Tweets public, there are very attentive people out there
  
• Twitter is mobile and you can update your Twitter account "on the move" with great mobile applications - with out a doubt, the way of the future which will be covered in another post
  

If you want some more help with Twitter, take some time to do research on the company and the online platform before you go off to your friends and complain about how "crap" it is because, "No one is following me..."...Boo Hoo Captain Tweet...have a read of this blog for some insight into why this phenomenon could be happening to you - http://bit.ly/GYSmV - it's informative!

Now, to get back to more pertinent issues...is it just me or is Twitter making amendments to their Terms of Service every 2 months or so? I'd think that a major online corporation like Twitter would have had these so called "dynamic" amendments sorted out by now...or maybe I should be embracing the idea that a company like Twitter has to be constantly, flexing and bending their own rules in order to grow and adapt to their already incomprehensible following?

There is no doubt that Twitter is an incredible part of the online evolution as well as the ever growing mobile evolution, but I still stand firm in my opinion when I say that I would have thought Twitter would have their Tweeting-Tweet-Tweet-Shit sorted out by now...

@Green_Guerrilla on Twitter